So as many of you know, but some don’t, my father served with a large group of heroes to go down south in 1982 and liberate the Falkland Isles from an invading force of Argentines. We went to an island eight thousand miles south of us, that was inhabited by nationals of the United Kingdom and liberated them against foreign invasion. It was something that no one in the world at that time thought we could accomplish, especially considering the cuts and pressure from the Soviet Bloc during the cold war. Outnumbered, outgunned and logistically stretched the British Navy, Air Force and Army managed to wrest control of the Island’s from a nation whose ports and airfields where a stones throw away. It was a miracle forged through blood, sweat and tears. It changed how the world worked in a political sense, people didn’t want to mess with a nation that would do such a thing and it also proved that the United Kingdom would, and still will to this day, protect its sovereign territory. Hundreds died and thousands still bare the scar’s of war to this day, some physical, some mental and some both. I was lucky to have my father back after the conflict, many wives, sons, daughters and families didn’t see their son’s return home. It was a short, brutal war that united a people under one flag.
Enter an eleven year old boy, who has hopes of becoming a football star one day. I have no idea who his father was, but judging by his comments regarding Sir Alex Ferguson about being a father figure, he obviously didn’t have a father like I had. Stan Collymore has opened his hole once again and started talking about issues he has no connection too or full understanding of. So I have here to give Stan Collymore a brief history lesson of the Falkland Isle’s so rather than offend the group of people who had suffered because of the conflict, he can educate himself and learn that his scything statements mean nothing, just like his punting.
The Falkland Islands was first, according to written record, founded by a English Captain named John Strong. Upon finding said UNINHABITED (This means no one lived their Stan) island he left it. So firstly, de facto, the island was founded by the British in 1690, however the French, ever to annoy us, decided to settle it in 1764 and it changed hands, a lot, until finally, we settled it proper and it became a colony of the United Kingdom in 1840. Not a single, solitary, individual Argentine set foot, as an attempted native inhabitant (against Crown will), until 1982. Yes Argentine fishermen often frequented the ports of the Falklands, but it has, since 1840 (Which, just in case your maths isn’t up to fact; One Hundred and seventy four ) been a British Colony. Recently, in order to prove that its inhabitants wanted to be British, the Falklands had a referendum poll where out of a total of 1,650 people, 1,513 voted to REMAIN British, 3 voted to NOT BE British and the rest didn’t vote. That’s a 99.8% to remain as part of the Commonwealth, and if that isn’t your smoking gun I have no idea what is.
Now, before I digress into the history of a disputed part of land eight thousand miles away, I need to point something out. When you played for England, you did nothing, lets be honest. You failed to not only score, but at most you played 270 minutes of unimpressive football, pretty much sums up your entire career within the footballing realm. Every single person that sailed to the South Atlantic to fight against the Argentines, to protect the civilians that had chosen to make a life their from an aggressor that has an appalling civil human rights record, worked (at least) for a total of 116,496 minutes. That means, in comparison, that each soldier played a total of 431 games for England and did a damn sight more than you ever could. Your 428 caps short of being close to anyone who sailed down South that year and fought for the flag that you so proudly stand behind. I’d love to see you do a day in the shoes of any of them men and call it easy. You are nothing but a bad footballer, that punched his girlfriend in France and then threatened his ex-wife and her parents. You are a pathetic excuse for a human being, and you stir up the feelings of every single person who has not only been touched by the Falklands Conflict, but also by the Conflict in Northern Ireland. People want to forget the past, but they want to respect the fallen as well. You do neither, attempting to make yourself more popular by offending anyone and everyone in the process.
What I would advise, Stan, is that you stick to what your good at: Being a bad football pundit and beating up women. Considering you need a job I would advise steering clear of offending veterans as, often, they are in positions of power higher than you could ever dream. You might have kicked a ball around a pitch before, but you weren’t good at that either, so why not climb back into the pundit hole you came from, keep silent and let the world carry on without your venomous presence. If my father was here to write this himself, I would assure you, it would reach places that would embarrass you. Sadly he isn’t here anymore, so as his son I will stand up and say it instead.