Me, myself and I

It’s been a while since I last posted something. Things have changed, both employment wise and personality wise. New job, an easier one with new challenges, but I really enjoy it. It’s been some time since I’ve looked forward to going to work, although some do moan about the daily task, not me. Granted like everyone I have hard days, but who doesn’t?

I’m not writing though to talk about my job. I fancied being honest again.  I’ve changed, a lot. I’ve only realised it though across the past few months, not just the change itself, but by how much I’ve changed. I remember the days of me being able to laugh about anything and everything, being up for anything and being the centre of a fantastic group of friends. Battle brothers/sisters eternal. Doing things as a group, you eventually come to miss not doing things as part of that group. However we age, get mortgages, have babies; these are things that take priority as you age. It’s not that aspect for me that has changed; it’s me. I’ve changed for reasons beyond my control, I am no longer the person I used to be.

I hate discussing it, because it always seems like I’m dragging up the past to get emotive, or to get attention, far from it. I rarely mention my father, or his death, unless someone asks. But that’s when I changed, and I’ve been exploring why, and what reason it happened. It’s difficult losing your role model, father, friend and not changing. Shit if I lost one of my closest friends for any reason, it would be like a black-hole opening up.

I’ll never forget sitting in Matt’s car, having just picked up Ronnie and I got the call that he’d died. That was when the flame went on under my uncontrolled, uneven kettle. Slowly over time it bubbled, and boiled away, unseen to most. I tried to control it, attempting to keep the mature, normal composure for my family. I cried, but when I did I did so alone. I remember crying once, racked with sorrow and I reached out for no-one, grasping into thin air, sobbing harder in loneliness. I’ve never felt more alone than at that point in my life, it’s what changed me, it’s why I changed.

This was the point in which my life turned upside down, and not in a fresh prince style. I made some seriously stupid mistakes, mistakes that not only ruined my life, but another’s. I wasn’t a very nice guy, not a Mr Right nor a gentleman, I was selfish. Of course those mistakes are my own, not my Dads; but I felt so alone. I just wanted someone to listen and understand, to take my pain away and to make me feel whole and complete. Someone to say “It’ll be all right”, but I didn’t get that, I never received that from anyone. Not to sound like a martyr but I was a crutch for many, but no one was for me. That doesn’t justify what I did, but I am being honest with why I committed to what I did wrong. I lost my fiancé, flat, friends and family; I turned to drinking and partying. I undone what had taken nearly ten years to build. It was during this time I really, really changed.

I stopped being fun, everything was serious, and it still is. I remember years ago being able to play a computer game with Ronnie, crying in tears of laughter; Now if I don’t win I get frustrated. Nothing is fun. I feel like a poor boyfriend, a lazy person and a bad friend. I am trying, trying so hard to change those things, but the darker days are more frequent than the brighter ones.

I am about to become a father, a Dad to a daughter. They say that when a soul moves on, it does so to make way for another. The snopers out there will point out there are more people being born than dying; true but I am romantic with my ideas. I hope that when my Georgia is born it is the start of a new phase of my life, and I am hoping it becomes fun again.

Why am I writing this? I don’t know, maybe it’s to try and explain myself. Maybe I am writing a depressive spell away on a long train journey, or it’s to those who don’t really know me. Take what you want from it or just ignore it, it doesn’t bother me much. My life has moved on and every life lesson is a lesson learned. I’m in a better place at the moment, but mentally I struggling frequently. Maybe someday I’ll get better, I might not either, but I know that I’m going to be a good Dad and husband someday, I just hope it is sooner than later.

I am where I am, one step at a time.

Democratic Travesty: Good Friday Agreement

For thirty years the British army was deployed in Northern Ireland in an attempt to bring peace to the area.  Granted this didn’t work very well, causing the conflict to spiral out of control and leading to a timeline of conflict that we call today “The Troubles”.  For many the scars of this conflict still impact those involved personally today, and they carry that burden with them.  Those who were born after the troubles are still affected by the times, especially when it comes to the political impact on Northern Ireland.

Recently though the arrest of an ex-member of the Parachute Regiment has just made a mockery of the entire process.  The idea of the Good Friday agreement was to bring all members, of all sides together, and move forward.  Each side treated equally, moving to bring justice to those who have suffered, and peace to those who detested the conflict that marred their homeland.  There is a slight problem with that though, a problem that makes the issue one-sided.  Soldiers have names, numbers, ranks, order, signed orders and thanks to those things, they have a responsibility for what has happened, and the outcome of orders they follow.  So this soldier who took part is what is known as “Bloody Sunday” has been arrested due to the deaths that occurred that day, so following the justice part of the entire “Good Friday” agreement, why is that so wrong?

Well where are the terrorist arrests?  Most of them have been released due to lack of evidence, or as part of the Good Friday agreement.  The problem with Terrorists is they don’t have names, number, ranks; they have orders, but they have no responsibility.  Thanks those who wish to make a mockery of any move forward, they will not name those people as guilty.  They won’t stand up and say “He was a member of the IRA and killed people” because they feel they have “Won”.  Well this confirms the victory of Terrorism over Democracy, by allowing someone who was ordered to do something to go to jail.

Why not drag out Jerry Adams, the man who hides behind children and a known member of the IRA and put him in the dock?  Martin McGuinness, gun runner and bomb suppler, caught and convicted, yet apparently not a member of the IRA, why hasn’t he been arrested and convicted?  Well let me tell you why; that wouldn’t be PC, nor would it move the peace accords forward.  What is happening here is victimisation of those who are forgotten, those who can afford to be lost to provide peace.  No one dares to stand against the Northern Irish “Democratic Terrorism”, where the terrorists are allowed to dictate policy, including the detainment of those who served against the IRA during Bloody Sunday.

The IRA have been the driving factor against peace in Northern Ireland.  They want to get democracy through blackmail, and its what they have done since day one.  Historically I am one of the first people to agree that we had no place in Northern Ireland, however I cannot change history, I can just look forward.  What is happening now doesn’t support a true democratic process; it makes a mockery of those who have died to bring peace.  It mocks those who obeyed orders from the side of order.  Granted not every soldier was a saint; bring them to the dock.  However as it stands we pander, daily, to the terrorists from Northern Ireland.

Its a time to take a stand, its time to back the true democratic order.  I support peace in Northern Ireland, but it needs to be an equal peace.  It needs to be peace where members of the following organisations are brought to justice equally, not just those who fought within the British Army:
IRA
RUC
PIRA
UVF
UDA
INLA
UDR
IPLO
RHC
UR
CIRA
RIRA
LVF

Members of the above organisations have as much blood on their hands as any serving/ex-serving member of the British army.  No one is innocent but lets not stand by and allow those who followed orders, who were ignored during enquiry after enquiry, suffer & pander to terrorists.

If you live in Northern Ireland and want peace; agree to equally prosecute anyone who took part in the troubles.  If you live in Northern Ireland and want to bring justice to those who caused suffering; agree to equally prosecute anyone who took part in the troubles.  Don’t hide people because they are family; because they fought “The good fight”.  In war there is no “Good fight” there is only fighting.  No side is right, no side is wrong; conflict is resolved through either totally victory, or a discussed peace.  If you support the arrest of a ex-British Army soldier who was part of the “Bloody Sunday” massacre, then you support the terrorists that also committed atrocities during the troubles.  You don’t want peace, you just want to place the blame on someone and move along.

That isn’t true peace, that’s a democratic travesty.  One that is tied up in militarist-political lies, sold by terrorists to a tired people, eager for anything but violence.  Is that the Northern Ireland you want?  Well if this carries on, it’s what you will have.

Open Letter to my friends regarding Politics

Dear Friends,

So it would appear that people are using the riots in London to attack the broad spectrum of people who didn’t vote Conservative. That I get, hell, we’d do the same if the shoe was on the other foot. What I don’t get is the raw lack of understanding, from the Conservative representatives/voters, as to why rioting is happening. I do not condone the riots; destruction of property and lack of respect for democracy should never be tolerated. Yes, I dislike the Tories, and yes I dislike the fact that we have another five years under them, but that doesn’t equate to acceptance of destroying and rioting. So far, one thing I have noticed, is that most people aren’t arguing a passionate, individual line; your peddling what the party you voted for is telling you, or your Tory friends. Let me give you what it looks like on the bread line.

NHS

The Conservative government, in 2012, signed the largest privatisation deal in the NHS’s history. I can see some positives in privatising certain aspects of the Health system, but carving it up should be the choice of the public. The National Health Service was created by a Labour government, not a Tory government, for the people. Yet since 2011 it has been cut up and sold off to various parties, all whom want to make a profit off the NHS. Yes, privatising it may increase the efficiency, but no one wants to live in a health care state like the US, where they have a national health service, but it is pretty much the lowest grade of health care. Since 2011 there hasn’t been a steady increase in NHS spending, which we have seen in the Labour governments prior to the Tories taking power, there has been little increase at all. Looking at the numbers, historically & naturally, the Tories that always cut NHS spending. Considering the number of service users that access NHS treatments, have increased, why hasn’t spending matched that? The Tories have no real passion, nor care, for the NHS. It is seen as something surplus to requirements, a black hole of spending, something that can be sold off, made more efficient. No. The MASSES don’t want that, not the 19% of people who voted for the Conservatives. 19% of the population should NOT have a say in what is, essentially through funding, a PUBLIC SERVICE. That is a reason as to why the public are rioting, we are fearing another five years of carving what isn’t yours, what you have only put 19% of investment into. You only own a small percentage of the NHS, hands off.

Welfare State & Austerity

This one hits home hardest, and the most raw nerve as well. Since 2012 the ONS (Office for National Statistics) has seen 2% decline in life expectancy, within the United Kingdom. In a modern world, where life expectancy increases decade on decade, under the Tories we have seen a decline. Why? Well there is a scary figure that is often discussed separately, and distantly, from that first number, and for a good reason. Suicides are also on the increase, again since 2012. Why aren’t those two figures discussed side-by-side more often? Well the media would never want you to see those figures together, the 4% increase especially & alone in a single year. With massive, carving cuts to benefits, Bedroom Tax for anyone who has an extra room in their home & ATOS on the prowl, those figures don’t surprise me when displayed side-by-side.

Up until 2010, homelessness was on the decrease, with affordable housing, a decent welfare state and council housing in abundance, that is no surprise. Since 2010 is it back on the increase, at a massively alarming rate. The Bedroom tax, reduction in welfare spending & the punishment of the weakest, most vulnerable to society for being so, has forced this number to increase again. We live in a state of non-austerity, or if we call it austerity, we’ll use its first meaning “sternness or severity of manner or attitude”, as how to best approach the masses.

I take it that, as well as being proud of running the country more “efficiently” that the Conservative government is also proud to display the mantel of being under investigation by the UN for its continued, systematic violation of disabled rights? When the plebeian can’t walk/see/move/breath/think properly, lets remove their rights to an equal life.

Those reasons above grant further proof as to why people are protesting in London.

Voting Reform
First past the post doesn’t work, especially when you look at the current election numbers. Seats to votes isn’t proportional, nor fair, especially when one area gets 5 seats for 1.6m votes, and another gets 55 for 1.6m votes. We need change, we want voting reform, and quickly. The two party system isn’t working, when you get into power from a majority, of a minority, that isn’t democracy, that’s conformity to a broken system.

That is another reason why people are protesting in London, we want change.

Final words
We aren’t looking to break democracy, nor are we crying because we lost. Real people have died and suffered under a Tory government, and not because of lack of treatment, but purposeful mistreatment. No one from the Tory government has acknowledged, cared or changed their stances based on what it’s populace wanted. They have continued to sap & tap into the greatest gifts to the masses that they have been given; the welfare state & national health care. They have been targeted because they exist, in what is supposed to be the model for a modern day, multi-cultural, equal, free, fair society. Instead they now live a life in fear, fear of being broken, battered, ignored and thrown into the gutter whenever the coffers demand.

People often point out that Labour, taking us into Afghanistan & Iraq, as sticking points, but just to point out, we lost less Soldiers on the front line, than we have lost at home to Austerity. That is a disturbing, sad fact. More people have been killed by treatment, or lack of, at home, than by enemy action.

A government shouldn’t rule its people, its people should rule its government. When that government see’s the mass populace as nothing more than a frustrating inconvenience, then we must unite, stand fast and ensure that the people are kept free, treated equal and cared for by that government. That isn’t happening. That won’t happen.

I don’t condone riots, nor do I condone violence, destruction, nor ignorance of democracy as reasons to do, or continue to do, what happened in London. However if you think that it is because Labour lost, you are indeed an ignorant, lost soul. It is because the people don’t want another five years of the most weakest, vulnerable, lost of society being at the bottom; ignored, blamed and taken from. If David Cameron TRULY believed in Austerity, then those people would be pushed to the top of his, and his parties, agenda. One thing the British Army always taught me; As fast as the slowest man. Always in it together, never stood alone. We live in a United Kingdom, but not under David Cameron.

Good day.

Tomorrow, a vote is a vote, but worth so much more…

Tomorrow we go to the polls, to vote for the next leader of our country.  For some it is a standard affair, one that has been repeated for most of their lives, for others its a start, something they may have never really done, nor bothered too.  For some it is more important than it is for others.  Some won’t really care about the next step in our countries evolution, some won’t be bothered about where, and what state, our country will be in for the next election.  Others however, have suffered, some harshly, others not so.  Some have been scarred by the current Prime Ministers lack of focus on the majority populace, choosing to work for the elite, the cream of society, those who look down on the common man as nothing more than a worker, or plebeian.  Personally I do look down on society, but not for reasons of superiority, but more disappointment.  We choose this leader, we picked him to lead us and move our country forward.  Based on a set of lies and deceit, we are convinced, daily, that it was Labour who ruined our country, Labour who caused the crash, and Labour that plunged our country into disarray.  Many forget it was Labour who created the foundation that the Tories built upon, Labour who formed the foundation that allowed them to leap frog into their current “Golden Age”.  All Labours foundation, all Labours work; the winners look like the Tories, thanks to that hard work.

Tomorrow marks a day where you can make a huge difference.  The Tories have ruined this country, not for everyone, but for the majority, the working man and woman.  I am not one to say to someone “Don’t vote for them”, that isn’t democratic, nor is it fair.  I am one, however, to point out facts, figures, and yes over exaggerate my opinion (it always sounds 400% worse than I say it is; sorry).  You may think that your “Demonstration” vote of the Greens, or Liberal Democrats will send a CLEAR message to the Conservatives; alas it will, but not how you think.  A vote for any one else, other than a major party is, almost, a wasted vote.  If you vote for the any other party, you remove the chance of the Conservatives being pipped at the post.  Thanks to our outstanding method of voting (sarcasm), if the Tories win the majority, it is THEM that pick the Coalition, no one else.  So voting for Greens, Liberal Democrats or UKIP as a protest vote is INDEED a wasted vote.  It merely allows the Conservatives another term in office, another term to suck the country dry, another term to kill the weakest, and least protected of society.

Tomorrow I urge you to vote Labour.  They are not perfect, they are not going to change the country overnight.  Labour will change, for the long term, the country for the better, just like they set out to do during their last term in office.  I didn’t see Labour cutting benefits until people killed themselves, I didn’t see Labour sitting silent as more and more people relied on food banks.  Labour set the ground work for a great country, a country that, today, has climbed out of a black hole.  It would have been a smoother ride for all, had they managed to get a second term.  Alas thanks to tasty propaganda and lies, the Tories stepped in and have claimed the hard work for themselves.

So tomorrow, please, vote.  Vote for whoever you want, but please remember that when you put your mark down, you are directly having an impact on peoples lives.  Remember that under the Tories people have died, not due to negligence, through ignorance.  Don’t allow that to happen any more.  Let us make our country a great one, let us create a country that is strong, proud and loves its populace.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to share this.

Eye Opening “Citizenfour”

So tomorrow I start my new job, fingers crossed I’ll never have to work a weekend again (apart from if I manage to get back into the Army Reserves; but I want to do that, its not really work).  I decided that I would treat myself, and be a teenager again, stay up late and catch up on TV.  Working in retail, late nights are a not really an option.  4am wake ups are common place, especially when the masses need their coffee.  However now I have a new job, I thought I’d treat myself to Match of the Day, and to finally watch “Citizenfour”.

Wow, what an eye opener.  Last night my entire opinion of Edward Snowden was changed by Laura Poitras, massively hard hitting documentary.  As I put it on, I was generally disinterested, expecting it to be another “Talk to the viewer” documentary, where its just facts and figures thrown at you by someone who has no great understanding of how things work.  This was an outstanding documentary, one where you followed the path that Laura walked along, from prior to her actually receiving the original e-mail from Citizenfour, through to him ending up on Moscow.  I watched how the NSA attempted to tell four judges it was okay for them to ignore constitution and law.  As the documentary progressed, I was, honestly, on the edge of my seat, hooked.  I watched Edwards journey from US citizen, to lost soul in an airport and I felt his pain.

Now, for those of you that no me, I am not usually an emotional soul, but this film really hit home.  I was shocked that the NSA, and GCHQ, are using such tactics, and actively. Now I’m not am American, sometimes I wish I was, but watching this I am damn glad I live on this side of the pond.  Well, I was until I learned of “Tempora”, and how the evidence released in the documentary point to that we’re tapped often, frequently and this meta-data is collected.  As was stated, how can people educate themselves, when they live in fear of being spotted looking at something they shouldn’t.  It pushes them underground, it criminalises them in the eyes of said governments.  Don’t get me started on that stupid “1918 Espionage Act”, what hell is wrong with American law?

“Hey, we are charging you with breaking the 1918 Espionage Act.”, “Well alls I did was tell the truth.”, “Yeah, by the way, any defence, is no defence.  So your guity, that is the only outcome.”

What.  The.  ?!?!  On how many levels of wrong is that?  You’ll happily debate about random unimportant issues, like computer game certificates, yet sensible changes on the law, nope.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for you Independents across the ocean.  We’ve been together since, well, hundred & odd years ago, and I can’t see that relationship souring.  However considering you are all meant to be the shining example of civil liberty, I cannot see that after watching “Citizenfour”.  You are the opposite.  If the NSA aren’t reigned in, if they aren’t stopped and the people who allowed it happen brought to justice, you are one step from creating Big Brother.  How long until peoples doors are being kicked in because they searched the word “Jihad”, under the patriot act and arrested indefinitely.  The fact you have charged a US citizen with something he is automatically guilty of, because he told THE TRUTH.  He showed your nation, he showed the world, they you have lied to everyone who trusted in you, and what do you do?  You commit the one single act that screams against every single, civil liberty that you threw the shackles of colonialism off for; Freedom.  You have ruined a man’s life, because he told the truth, because you didn’t like it.

Well, Obama may be President, but he could have pardoned Snowden, as he revealed the issue within the NSA.  Instead he has allowed this charade to continue, and has even supported the legal side of the affair against Snowden.  Any person with an ounce of intelligence knows he’ll be put in jail, or worse, put in jail and disappear.  America has egg on its face, they know it, the world knows it, why can’t the US just do the one thing it never has; Put its hands up and say “Yeah, we messed up.”.

I hope that Snowden eventually gets to where he wants to get too, somewhere he can call home, that isn’t another oppressive, insecure state.  If you haven’t already watched “Citizenfour”, watch it.  Don’t hesitate, don’t wait, just go and sit down now and let your mind do the rest.  This isn’t some Zeitgeist BS that I’m asking you to watch, its a documentary.  Something that happened, see how it impacts you, them, Snowden, Poitras, Greenwald and the US.

https://citizenfourfilm.com/

Time for some gaming me thinks.

Guess whose back…

Yep, me. New job and, fingers crossed, new lease of life. Been too long since I have written anything, so I thought I would start with a basic blog post.

Since I last posted, things have changed slightly.  First off I am a home-owner, as I have moved in with Kim, after buying a house a stones throw from my Mums.  It needs a lot of work, but I think this is where I will be calling home for some time.  Secondly I managed to bag myself a new job, working for Pearson Group, at EdExcel.  It is a different job from what I have done previously, but as it requires Customer Service skills, something I have in abundance, it shouldn’t be too difficult a transition.  Also I’ve barely written a word since my last post on Geek Pride, which isn’t something positive to admit too.  This will be changing however, now I am a 9-5 man.

Blog wise, I’ve changed my WordPress a little, with the “Shorts Corner” turning into my personal music page, so you can listen to the music I love and like.  I am currently working on a couple of review for GP, two games that are in Beta, so watch this space.  I will be writing some stuff about current affairs and my points of view on them, especially about aspects of the world that massively, personally affect me.

Anyhow I’ve written the most I have written is some time, so I’m signing off to play some computer games and listen to some music.  Take care.

 

The Greatest Man

In my life I have had some very scary stuff happen to me, but fear is something I am not used to suffering from or feeling. I don’t fear the unknown, I don’t fear death, I don’t fear most things (Spiders strike the fear into me, but I’m bigger, so it soon passes). One thing has put fear into me and it happened years ago, and today of all days, I remember that fear. It was whilst I was walking and I had already done a similar walk once before on the same day.

It was raining when I stood outside the church, everyone was staring at me, looking awkward. I ignored the rain, didn’t let it bother me, those around me stood in the protection of the church overhang, or beneath umbrellas, I just stood there; numb. I never got chance to say goodbye to my Father, its something that haunts me randomly, although he knew my thoughts of him, I hope that he remembered what I said to him during his last moments. I remember caring him down the aisle of my church, the aisle that I have walked down so many times before, and after. The weight of my father baring down on my shoulder, but I was numb, I didn’t mind the weight. When I placed him down I did so awkwardly, but I stood staring, waiting, unsure of what to do next. After the service I carried him out again and off we went to the Crematorium. It was raining again, and the Military Veterans had prepared the location, so when I carried my Father in I wasn’t prepared. I’ll never forget that walk. I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to stop and put my Dad down, stop the entire process. I wanted to get him out, talk to him, make sure this is what he wanted. I was hoping that it was all a joke, but that was the fear. This was it, the final, end journey. I’d never hold him, see him or hear him again and that made me stop, fear struck at my heart.

I overcame my fear in the same moment it struck me, I had to do it, just like I had been taught, not against my will, but by watching my parents through life. I did what my mother and father did through their lives, pick myself up and carry on. Advance into the face of my fear and beat it or lose, but never stop moving forward, no matter what the odds. Throughout the entire process I had been numb to all emotion, people must have thought I didn’t care. The Veterans played the last post, and just as the first note played, it hit me; I cried like a baby, I sobbed so much, I didn’t even hear it end. I marshalled everything I had to stop crying. I did, but it was the worse day of my life

People have good parents, bad parents, okay parents. When people say “I have the best Dad ever!” to that person, they possibly are the best Dad. Without exaggeration though, I did have the best Dad. Not because he is my Dad, but because he would give up everything for Georgina, Mum and myself. He would go hungry to feed the family, he was a teacher, rarely let his temper get the better of him. For his family he would do everything in his power for them, help them when they needed him, do things for them they couldn’t do. He would help anyone outside of his family, supporting people whenever they needed him, providing money or equipment to those who needed it. He was always a friend to my friends, and my Sisters, never embarrassing, always supportive and joking around. And no matter what, he always smiled and could make anyone laugh, in any situation. So without exaggeration, other Dads pale in comparison, not because I say so, because he was the most selfless person I have ever met. Even during his final weeks he planned his own funeral, so not to have to put his immediate family in a uncomfortable situation; even the funeral director was shocked. My Dad had balls of steel, he had enough proof of that.

So why am I saying this? My Dads gone, and he died on the 21st of August 2007. I’m not saying your Dads shit, I don’t want someone with an ego issue throwing their tits around in excitement. When my father passed away, I lost my idol, the man I could never be, but yet strive to be like. I am sharing the worse day of my life, yet within that day the best of me came out. Since then I have struggled, every single day, but for others the struggle is worse. I cannot imagine how my Sister feels, and I will never come close to feeling how my Mother does. Yet, each persons feelings are different, each struggle unique to that person.

Every time that song plays, every time I see a father and son playing together, my heart breaks. My friend, Dave Olsen (Blog plug moment), wrote a great blog about what it means to be a great Dad. Being a great Dad is everything he pointed out, apart from one thing he forgot to mention: sacrifice. When you bring that life into the world, you need to show, teach, tell, nurture, care for, assist, guide, love, cherish, talk…THAT is what it means to be a great Dad. There is not a day that goes by where I wish I could pick up a phone and have a five minute chat with my Dad, even if it was to say “L Lu D.” and hear the reply “D Lu L”.

RIP Ron.
Dad, you will be missed x

The Greatest Man

I wasn’t there to say goodbye,
Neither did I hear your cry,
My sister bore that pain alone,
I wish I would have just come home.

Days had past the family low,
The funeral plans everyone had to know,
I spread your plans that I had to hear,
Your own words spoken without fear.

They brought you home for all to see,
Privacy was what we wanted it to be,
My mother never left your side,
She held your hand with a Wife’s dear pride.

That day did come to carry you away,
To the place in the sky so far away,
Down the aisle I carried you to and fro,
Goodbye Old man `tis time to go.

The years have past the pains still raw,
The void you left we can’t ignore,
We carry on but we never forget,
The greatest man we ever met.

Is the United Nations fit for purpose?

Over the last decade I’ve watched a world that hasn’t been at peace. When I first signed up (the first time, but that’s a story for the future) it was August 2001 when I was attested into the Royal Signals. At a time, in my life, where peace was starting to come around. Then September 2001 occurred and the world changed. Since then, nothing has been the same, but I want to look at an organisation that was funded a massive £4,412 billion ($7.54 billion) by the governments of the world. Is this organisation fit for purpose?

UN Charter, Article 1

The Purposes of the United Nations are:

1. To maintain international peace and security, and to that end: to take effective collective measures for the prevention and removal of threats to the peace, and for the suppression of acts of aggression or other breaches of the peace, and to bring about by peaceful means, and in conformity with the principles of justice and international law, adjustment or settlement of international disputes or situations which might lead to a breach of the peace;

2. To develop friendly relations among nations based on respect for the principle of equal rights and self-determination of peoples, and to take other appropriate measures to strengthen universal peace;

3. To achieve international co-operation in solving international problems of an economic, social, cultural, or humanitarian character, and in promoting and encouraging respect for human rights and for fundamental freedoms for all without distinction as to race, sex, language, or religion; and

4. To be a centre for harmonizing the actions of nations in the attainment of these common ends.

The United Nations is not fit for purpose.  For the last decade is has failed globally to commit, follow through with and accomplish any part of Article 1.  Since Bosnia the United Nations has struggled to make itself impact on the global scene.  Civil Wars, threats to peace within smaller nations from “Big” nations or humanitarian crimes/war crimes, the UN hasn’t been there.

Obviously the worlds media will not want to show this, they won’t want such a global, money making organisation out to be nothing more than what it is; a waste of time.  The massacre of Bosnians during the Bosnian War and the slow reaction of the UN was the precursor to what has become the standard format of UN reaction.  The fact that the actual military force that led the war was NATO organised, it was sadly trapped beneath the blue helmet of peace keeping.  Still the slow reaction caused more deaths than it prevented and we can see the same for any conflict that has occurred since, where the UN COULD have prevented loss of life by being more vocal and aggressive regarding the stance of the world.  Instead they hid behind paperwork, walls of policies and debates, within fortresses of absence.

The next major, media covered conflict, where the United Nations flashed its kitten claws was Ukraine and Russia.  Since the end of the Cold War, Russia has expanded and fought to regain lost territory after the fall of the Soviet Union.  It has often failed to defeat such small nations, or sat down and agreed to certain “Requirements”.  Where was the United Nations?  How did they stop this hyper-aggressive attempt to retake territory that is no longer theirs?  How would the world react if England invaded India again?  After Russia annexed Crimea and the Ukraine asked for support where was that support?  When did the UN actively step in and say “Wait a minute, get your troops out now.”?  It didn’t, instead relying on the combination of the EU and NATO to put a clear and simple warning shot across the bow of the Russian War Machine.  It sort of worked, I imagine that the Crimea was the test bed for the rest of the Ukraine, so it worked per se.  Also look at MH17, a clear breach of human rights, a direct breach of Article 1, yet nothing has been done.  It took the Dutch and Malaysians to sort it out themselves, without the help of the United Nations.  When the evidence is presented I can, within a certain realm of assurance, put money that the United Nations won’t attempt to find those guilty, it will let the EU take care of that.

Finally we cover Gaza.  The Gaza strip is currently the hot bed of one of the worst conflicts of the modern age.  Without going into political/propaganda details, civilians are caught in the crossfire, dying in droves.  Neither side will step down, neither side will sit at a table and talk.  Despite United Nations workers and buildings being caught in the shelling and gunfire, they have done absolutely nought.  Nothing.  Nada.  People are dying and the United Nations sits on its hands.

Now with nearly £4 billion pounds in your budget, which is probably the same yearly budget most small/average nations get, you would think the United Nations could/would do something.  Instead they host meetings about actions, actions that create more meetings, that eventually fall into a final meeting where one of two things happen: “Nothing” or “Veto”.  The United Nations isn’t fit for purpose, in anyway shape or form.  It hasn’t managed to stop or hinder a serious civilian loss of life since its creation, instead it creates rules and regulations that bind it further into a web of inaction and lack of purpose.  What my question is, to any member of the UN, is where is that money going?

Now the easy answer is: Foreign Aid.  If that IS the case, then why do most nations pay extra for foreign aid?  Surely we can just give it to the UN, let them spend it on food/water for those who need it.  The second is: Education.  Okay, that’s a fair comment, but what else?  The WHO is struggling to find help with the recent outbreak of Ebola within Africa, where’s the UN?  The Palestinians need a knight in shining armour, where’s the UN?  The Ukrainians need to stop the Russians giving Rebels weapons and arms, where’s the UN?  No-where.  Its too busy tied up in meetings, discussions and debates.  I would even go as far to say that their inaction has caused more deaths.

Maybe it is time for the United Nations to go through a serious shake up, change its policies and how it operates.  Palestinians are dying, NATO is gearing up for another Cold War with Russia and Africa is about to become the birth place of the worst modern epidemic.  Where is our UN to save us?  No-where, and no-where it shall remain.

As we enter this darker period of humanity, I pray we all survive long enough to remember: We’re all humans.

The Rain (Afghan Ruin) – Poem

Sometimes when I write poetry, its usually charged by an emotional response to something that is affecting myself.  For example, during the early days of June it was regarding the loss of Mike Forge, which impacts me because of how it impacted my father.  Tomorrow is Fathers day, and as I browsed the shop earlier today for a Fathers day Card (not for my Dad) a thought came to my mind.  One of the things that impacted us as a family, and still does in a differing form, was PTSD.  PTSD is something that people struggle with, in and out of conflicts involving war, but its something that a lot of soldiers hide.  They hide it through fear of being weak, being seen to be inferior, which is often a soldiers worst enemy (other times its himself).  My Dad, although he never admitted it, suffered from PTSD and, surprisingly, so does my Mother (for a different, private reason).  Its a tough thing to live around, the constant mood swings, random moments of darkness; but its totally acceptable in my book.  Many don’t understand it, deal with it or come to terms with it, and their families often ostracize them.  Many are left alone, and sadly when that happens, death’s knock isn’t too far behind.  Its tragic, and absolutely avoidable, but unseen by too many. 

Thinking of that I wrote a poem, I am not the best scribe, although I am trying to change that through practice.  Its titled “The Rain (Afghan Ruin)” as when I starting writing it a couple of days ago, my mind went towards those coming back from Afghanistan, with little or not welcome home.  Yet reading it back now, its appropriate to most veterans.  My Dad said when he arrived back on the boat from the Falklands, the main task force had received a heroes welcome, yet he’d been stuck on a boat for months.  Not the best environment for PTSD; packed into a boat, nothing to take your mind away from the thoughts that ran through your mind.  Add to that no flag waving when he arrived, not a heroes welcome, just business as usual. 

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The Rain (Afghan Ruin)

The rain swept hard against his face,
As he looked around this alien place,
All his friends they looked around too,
Brothers in arms on this foreign ground,
Unknown to them what would come,
That no matter what their bond,
Would never be undone.

The rain swept hard against his face,
From down the line a voice was raised,
“MAN DOWN!” and all their faces drained,
The run to the chopper whilst his life ebbed away,
Feeling helpless as there was nothing to say,
As no one knew what truly happened that day.

The rain swept hard against his face,
Kicked out the army what a disgrace,
When he came home with what he’d faced,
No crowds cheered or waved,
To them they were monsters best left for the grave,
Fighting was his crime and his CO said no,
Nothing was left now and he had to go.

The rain swept hard against his face,
As he remembers friends faces,
That light no longer graces,
Alone he stands as he opens his eyes,
He looks up and see the black skies,
As he pleads with God to let him die,
He takes that step and as he looks down,
He places a wreath onto the ground,
Attached a plaque for comrades down,
Buried beneath on political grounds.

The rain swept hard against his face,
To people around him the skies were clear,
Clouds around him though were black with fear,
The lightning of guilt that no one could hear,
That’s when his eyes glass over and he drifts off into space,
He remembers that day when the rain swept hard against his face.

© Leonard Smith

Shattered

June 5/6 is a day I never forget.  Not because I am a world war 2 buff, obviously D-Day was an important day in history, but I remember it for another more personal reason.  The Falklands Conflict, as you may gather, as a special place in my heart.  For years my idol, Ron Smith, spoke with such emotion about his time in the army, and most specifically, the Falklands.  He told me his tales of Buff Cove and how he helped during the San Carlos tragedy.  However for him, June 5/6 sticks out most in his mind. 

My Dad, during his time in the army, was a man who loved to learn (I guess that’s where I get it from).  He couldn’t just be a ReBro in the Signals, so he learnt another language.  Then he studied photography, then he got his Wings with the A.A.C. (Army Air Corp for you civilians) and did some time flying.  Then he studied bomb disposal, the army back then LOVED a multi-tasking man, these days you do one trade or another, rarely getting more experience than what you need to do for the job you do; Budget sense.  He was a master of all of his trades and he fascinated me with some of his tales from his exploits, also some of the pictures he took where outstanding.

On June 5/6 my father had a perforated eardrum, a painful thing to suffer from, but in war you carry on.  On June 5 a rebro on Mount Pleasant went down, wasn’t communicated properly and it was required that a team fly up to the top and find out what was going wrong.  My father, knowing the AAC crew of the Gazelle, decided that he would fly up, with Joe Baker and find out what was wrong.  That’s when a long time father figure, personal friend and mentor to my Dad, Mike Forge stepped in and told him to sit out, as his eardrum won’t do him any favours.  Mike, ever the leader from the front, decided he’d go up to the top instead and do my Dads job for him, so he didn’t have to go through any unnecessary pain.  Brothers in arms.  Sadly the helicopter was shot down in a Blue-on-Blue incident and all four crew died.

Now Mike taught my father how to parachute, making my Dad (one of his famous “Pointless Dad Trivia” moments that he loved to declare at parties) the youngest parachutest, at the time, in England making his first jump with Mike.  Mike, and I am sure anyone who had the honour of knowing the man will agree, was a leader who lead from the front.  Part of the famous 216 Para-Sigs, he was a cut above the rest.  Mike left behind no family, wife or children and he was an only child.

So for me I remember this day for Mike, and my Dad, who constantly blamed himself for the loss of Mike.  But, as I have stated before, without that man I wouldn’t have had a father to make me the man I am today.  So, raise a glass to the fallen heroes, who lie on Mount Pleasant:  Major Michael Lancaster Forge, S/Sgt John Baker, S/Sgt Christopher Griffin and L/Corporal Simon Cockton.  We shall never forget.

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Shattered

Those four boys,
Lying still,
Shattered wings,
Amongst morning dew,
There wings of flight,
Far had flown,
But a boy,
Stood alone,
His wings intact,
His soul in tatters,
It should have been him,
Was all that mattered.

25 years later,
He stood where they lay,
On June 6th that day,
His head was down,
His soul laid bare,
He couldn’t see them,
Standing there,
Smiles on all four,
A pilgrimage he’d made,
To visit their grave,
United at last,
Five blokes together,
Just like the past.

Now he’s not here,
It’s down to me,
Mount Pleasant they lay,
My fathers here with me,
They walk together,
Five heroes I see,
Three wearing Jimmy’s,
Two from the AAC,
Smiles all round,
Beers for Victory,
Someone remembers,
I guess that’s me,
Five heroes gone,
No pleasure is found,
As I pray for the heroes,
Buried in the ground.

© Leonard Smith